A walk thru hell

Fifth night and I'm numb still no food and no sleep... As a ship sinks in the ocean so my been sinks how can a night be longer than a dream? and a thought stronger than an ox? Before I had my opinion about what was in my mind now I'm a spectator just soaring in my walk thru hell so many dark places and so many unspeakable things, words forbid it to mention and actions openly exhibit that my sense of good and bad disappear,  no I'm not unstable I'm who I'm a new man but why the show? I know maybe it's to be even more strong or maybe to erase the line draw in a close mind but is not easy they use images non existing yet and make me watch them, images hard to view but I can't turn my head nor close my eyes... interesting...painful...excited...pleasure...wrong...wright...bad...good; but who determines the right angle? is it me or them? I see, is those who suffer by them or those who enjoy them, there's darkness and yet I can't be touch nor I'm blind, it's like a tour free of charge;

Ha ha ha my eyelids are heavy but my brain wont stop, my body shakes and yet I don't move, I can hear Him clearly but I have no power, how can I be so strong and so weak? so wise and so stupid? so fast and so slow? well is not me not anymore I'm not a double minded person and then the invitation... end it, end with all of it now 1,2,3,4,5 or more peels and then go to sleep you will rest and feel no more, ha ha ha what a fool! I'm not easy not a coward I can face my pain, enjoy it and watch it dance, then the message or is it? as I my sight get's lost in the wall... a hug, a strong hug waking me up and a soft kiss on my cheek... " I can read your mind" my son walks away...